Courage is not the absence of fear; courage is fear walking. - Susan David
This gem of a quote is from Susan David’s book, Emotional Agility, and I believe that understanding this concept is highly beneficial for addressing the fear that comes along with performance. In her book, Dr. David, talks about the importance of sitting with our emotions in order to collect the valuable data they provide to us.
In addition to the ability to embrace sensations of fear, when preparing for performance it’s good to keep in mind that “what you resist persists,” as stated by Carl Jung. It is crucial to welcome stage fright as though it’s an old friend so that it doesn’t transform into a true monster! Those of us who perform likely have already discovered how fruitless the struggle against nerves can be. Avoiding the fear feelings can turn into a fear spiral of feeling afraid of feeling afraid or feeling nervous about feeling nervous. Reworking our concept of anxiety will make it a bit easier, and less scary, to embrace.
The Art of Reframing
The language we use to describe our experience has a major impact on our well-being. It’s not that we should paint over our negative feelings with positive ones, but that we should aim to use language that is both accurate and promotes feelings of safety and well-being. The efficacy of reappraising "performance anxiety" as "performance excitement" is supported by research and is a simple trick that's a huge game changer.
Here are my favorite ways to reframe those pesky performance jitters:
Frame the situation as “performance excitement” rather than “performance anxiety.
Use “I want to perform” in place of “I have to perform.” Performance should always be a choice.
Use “I am feeling excited” in place of “I am feeling anxious.” We tend to view nerves as a scary problem, and it really works to replace “anxious” with more pleasurable sensations. Other terms that describe similar emotional states are amped-up, pumped-up, fired-up, activated, motivated, enthusiastic, energetic, or aroused. Pick your favorite!
Recognize that fear is a sign of courage. If one feels afraid, it’s likely because they are about to mobilize the fear response through courage and bravery, in order to do something good. Acknowledging the courage that is in the mix is an excellent confidence builder.
Sweating: Playing piano really is more athletic than most people think, and it's expected that athletes will sweat! Most high-achieving pianists sweat during performance, and many even keep a handkerchief in the piano!
Shaking: We can shake from excitement too! A dog’s wag/shake is a sign of both excitement and joy! Shaking in the phrase “shake it off” is a way to move beyond hardship. If we have “shaken off” something its means we have succeeded. “Jitter” is also a slightly less scary word since it has a silly sound and is even associated with a dance move, the “jitterbug.”
Stomach discomfort: This one is trickier to reframe. “My stomach is ready for a performance” might do the trick. One could also say, “My stomach isn’t as settled as I’d like it to be.” It’s important to acknowledge the unpleasantness of the feeling AND the fact that it’s temporary.
Performance Anxiety is Normal
If the performer can embrace these physiological effects as a natural part of the performance process, they will have a much better experience. If we allow the feeling then it will be more likely to melt away. (Because the opposite, resistance, leads to persistence.) Students should also know that these sensations are normal and are nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone feels it!
Finally, it’s important to recognize that courage is the process of mobilizing the fearful energy, typically to do something good. The goal isn’t to make the fear go away, but to harness it! Courage is inherently tinged with fear, so if students feel fear, and go on to give their performance, they should be praised for their bravery and courage. Showing up is what counts the most!
Share Your Experience
Discussing our experiences in an open, honest and non judgmental way is one of the best ways to change our relationship with performance!
